We all want to be loved and appreciated. Yet, sometimes we get caught up in chasing after love or approval from other people. How does this affect our relationships?
Chasing after love or approval from others can be detrimental to our relationships. The pursuit of love and approval often leads us into unhealthy patterns.
This is because we tend to focus on the outcome rather than the process.
When we focus too much on the outcome, we become obsessed with finding someone who loves us unconditionally.
In turn, we start to expect that person to show up and give us what we want. When they fail to deliver, we begin to doubt ourselves and our worth. We may even feel like a failure.
When we chase after love and approval from others, we are more likely to:
- Focus on external validation instead of internal self-worth.
- Put our needs last when it comes to making decisions about how to handle conflict.
- Feel jealous and insecure if another person gets attention or praise for something we did.
- Get angry at those closest to us when they don’t meet our expectations.
- Take things personally when others talk about us.
- Be overly sensitive to criticism.
- Become defensive when others point out our flaws.
- Criticize ourselves for not being good enough.
- Try to control others by manipulating them.
- Use manipulation as a way to avoid dealing with problems.
- Avoid intimacy.
- Have difficulty trusting others.
- Act needy and clingy.
- Feel lonely or isolated.
- Want to change so others will approve of us.
- Give up on our dreams.
- Let fear dictate our actions.
That’s why knowing and understanding your self-worth is so important. If you’re struggling with feeling unworthy, here are some tips to help you overcome these negative feelings:
Use Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat over and over again to yourself. They can be used to boost your confidence, improve your mood, increase motivation, and build self-esteem.
You can use affirmations to create healthy habits such as getting dressed, eating right, exercising, etc.
You can also use affirmations to help you deal with difficult situations. For example, if you have a bad day at work, you could say something like “Today I am going to do my best.”
By using an affirmation, you’ll keep yourself focused on doing your best.
To start attracting the things you deserve, try using this affirmation
I don’t chase, I attract
What is meant for me will find me.
By using this affirmation daily you are putting things that you cannot control back in the hands of the universe.
You are no longer focused on the outcome but are accepting and understanding of everything around you. What will be, will be.
Know Your Worth
It is very easy to fall prey to the lie that “you aren’t good enough.” You can easily convince yourself that you are worthless and undeserving of love and acceptance.
But, the truth is that you are worthy of love and respect. You have value. You matter.
The first step toward overcoming low self-esteem is to recognize that you do deserve love and respect. You were created in God’s image and He made you special. You are valuable. You are worthy of love.
You must believe that you are lovable and deserving before you can experience true happiness. It is only then that you will stop trying to prove yourself to others.
Instead, you’ll learn to appreciate yourself and accept yourself just the way you are.
We know that you, like us, are fascinated by all the intangible things that make life magical
Find Someone Who Accepts You As You Are
If you are looking for unconditional love and acceptance, you need to find a person who accepts you exactly as you are. This means that you should look for someone who doesn’t try to change you.
You can’t force anyone to accept you. However, you can choose to surround yourself with people who accept you.
You can also choose to let go of toxic friendships and relationships that make you feel bad about yourself.
Learn To Love Yourself
You need to learn to love yourself. You can’t always rely on others to tell you that you are beautiful, smart, talented, etc. You must learn to see yourself through loving eyes.
You must learn to love yourself because no one else can do it for you. No one can fill the void inside you. Only you can do this.
So, you must take responsibility for your life. You must decide to be happy. You must learn to love yourself.
Stop Trying To Change Others
Stop trying to change other people. You can’t force someone to love you. You can’t force them to treat you well. You can’t force others to think positively about you.
So, you must stop trying to manipulate others into loving you or treating you differently. You must stop expecting others to give you what you want. Instead, you must focus on giving to others.
Final Thoughts
Affirmations are a way to remind yourself of how to think. They help us reprogram the mind more positively and allow us to realize that to be happy in life you must be happy with the way things are right now.
If you’re unhappy with where you are right now, you’ll never be able to move forward. You’ll continue living in the past instead of focusing on the future.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you must realize that there is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with your situation. You are not broken. You are perfect just the way you are right now.
Take full responsibility for your own life. You must accept that you alone are responsible for your actions. You must accept that no one else has control over you.
You must accept that if you don’t like something, you must fix it.
Let go of toxic relationships and friendships. You can’t spend time with people who drain your energy and cause you pain.
Focus on what you want in life. When you focus on what you want, you’ll attract more opportunities to achieve those goals.
Don’t compare yourself to other people. You are unique. You are different from everyone else. You are special!
Everyday Insight
Richard Pryn, the man behind Everyday Insight, is a professional composer and has always been fascinated with the esoteric & spiritual. He has trained as a Pranic Healer and as a Dowser. These spiritual studies have included the study of crystals, earth energies, manifestation and lifestyle design.We know that you, like us, are fascinated by all the intangible things that make life magical
